despite trying very hard to cut myself away from u.. i can't help but feel sad tt i din even gt a simple msg frm u... do u know tt tis is my only wish?! to not be so easily forgotten.. to know tt u don't even bother hurts.. so much for all de wish come true....

sometimes i wonder... how can u be so hard hearted.. wad did i do to deserve all this.. de 2 people tt made a difference in my poly life actually hurt me so much.. i swear i would stop doing things that isn't worth the effort.. i reflected a lot.. is it me? what did i do or say to make all of u go away.. but at least next time, i will not and dare not rush into it.. going to be 5 mths already.. tt day is de same day as my pay day.. so difficult not to notice it.. i heard tt.. how long u love the person, u'll take de same time to forget him.. we were tog for 3 months.. bt it's already 5 mths and i still can't gt over u.. i may appear to be happy, enjoying myself.. but who will know wad i'm going through.. what i exactly feel.. so often i think bout u.. bout de things u said and do.. how much i wish i could go back to den... to tell u exactly how much i cherish u..
i know i have to continue working hard.. to get over u.. like how u did.. this r/s taught me a lot.. bt at de very least.. i do not wan to go through it again..

ytd was a special day to me.. i din realise tt it's ur 49th day too.. saw ur facebook profile.. my tears can't help bt fall.. i don't know why do i feel so emotional.. i just can't seem to control.. tho we are not very close.. i still rmb tt nite when i taught u a few thai so u could speak during ur trip.. i rmb everything tt we once shared.. if we know tt our time left with u is so short.. what would we do? would they still feel tt way? would they still be angry at u at times? u r the leader of the group.. u r decisive and spontaneous.. u r everything tt i'm not.. y did u choose tt way.. y did god take u away from us.. from de family who loved u.. from the frens tt nv told u they cared but they actually do..

sometimes we don't think tt our family loves us.. but when u're gone.. u cannot see what they will do for us.. i'm so glad tt i have a sister who really cares for me.. tho we do quarrel at times.. i can't imagine what is life without her.. i'm nt someone who could go round telling everyone tt i love them.. even to my family.. bt i really do.. i pray for their happiness and health all the time.. i can't lose any of them.. i know tt no one will see tis.. bt i love my family and friends who cared for me.. i will cherish and treasure all of u.. nevertheless.. i hope u'll be happy on the other side.. i believe ur sister will take care of ur parents and they will continue loving u forever.. u will always be in our hearts..