despite trying very hard to cut myself away from u.. i can't help but feel sad tt i din even gt a simple msg frm u... do u know tt tis is my only wish?! to not be so easily forgotten.. to know tt u don't even bother hurts.. so much for all de wish come true....

sometimes i wonder... how can u be so hard hearted.. wad did i do to deserve all this.. de 2 people tt made a difference in my poly life actually hurt me so much.. i swear i would stop doing things that isn't worth the effort.. i reflected a lot.. is it me? what did i do or say to make all of u go away.. but at least next time, i will not and dare not rush into it.. going to be 5 mths already.. tt day is de same day as my pay day.. so difficult not to notice it.. i heard tt.. how long u love the person, u'll take de same time to forget him.. we were tog for 3 months.. bt it's already 5 mths and i still can't gt over u.. i may appear to be happy, enjoying myself.. but who will know wad i'm going through.. what i exactly feel.. so often i think bout u.. bout de things u said and do.. how much i wish i could go back to den... to tell u exactly how much i cherish u..
i know i have to continue working hard.. to get over u.. like how u did.. this r/s taught me a lot.. bt at de very least.. i do not wan to go through it again..

ytd was a special day to me.. i din realise tt it's ur 49th day too.. saw ur facebook profile.. my tears can't help bt fall.. i don't know why do i feel so emotional.. i just can't seem to control.. tho we are not very close.. i still rmb tt nite when i taught u a few thai so u could speak during ur trip.. i rmb everything tt we once shared.. if we know tt our time left with u is so short.. what would we do? would they still feel tt way? would they still be angry at u at times? u r the leader of the group.. u r decisive and spontaneous.. u r everything tt i'm not.. y did u choose tt way.. y did god take u away from us.. from de family who loved u.. from the frens tt nv told u they cared but they actually do..

sometimes we don't think tt our family loves us.. but when u're gone.. u cannot see what they will do for us.. i'm so glad tt i have a sister who really cares for me.. tho we do quarrel at times.. i can't imagine what is life without her.. i'm nt someone who could go round telling everyone tt i love them.. even to my family.. bt i really do.. i pray for their happiness and health all the time.. i can't lose any of them.. i know tt no one will see tis.. bt i love my family and friends who cared for me.. i will cherish and treasure all of u.. nevertheless.. i hope u'll be happy on the other side.. i believe ur sister will take care of ur parents and they will continue loving u forever.. u will always be in our hearts..

haven been hearing bout news bout u.. suddenly have the urge to call u and just listen to ur voice.. on de other hand.. it means tt u could actually reply me or txt me bt u din.. told myself to stop seeing ur profile.. stop seeking for news about u..
posted to a place i would die to be in 6 mths ago.. bt now.. it's just too near and too alone.. have to lunch by myself everyday.. makes me feel worse.. the area reminds me too much about u...
can't help but think... r u adapting well there? how's life and everything? have u been eating or sleeping well? r u fatter or fitter.. haha.. all sums up to... i miss u........

got my first pay! tho it seems like i've spent most of it earlier on.. bt i'm still excited haha.. treat frens to drinks de other time.. haven treat my family and another grp of close frens.. thinking of buying something for u.. (rational wise, i stop myself..) tots when tru my mind.. wad u need.. wad would b nice for u.. etc etc.. since i've been getting less n less news bout u.. prob i wun know wad u really wanted.. mayb if i shop around n c something tt i feel u might like.. i might buy n keep it.. perhaps.. just perhaps one day.. it might b able to gt to ur hands....

you don't have to be together to love tt person... even from afar, u could love him/her ur way.. wishing happiness for u..

my birthday coming.. my wish is de same as every year since it din really happen over my birthdays.. might have to spend a lonely one again.. nevertheless.. i wish for ur safety and happiness.. n till den.. i pray... tt u would rmb.... if nt i'll b super depressed.. i hope i could just not expect anything.. because expectations brings disappointment..

sometimes, it's not really good to go way out to find out the truth.. because the truth may hurt.. ignorance can be a blessing.. things that u don't know.. will nt be able to hurt u.........
*defence wall upupup*

i don't have de courage to love again...

one of my relative just passed away.. seems like this yr is really not a good 1 for me.. i hate to attend wakes.. i would gt all emotional when i c ppl cry.. oh my...
bt at least i know it's a relief for her.. she had been struggling for quite some time already.. tho we are not exactly close.. n i only gt to c her once a yr during new yr.. i'd like u to know tt i love ur pineapple tarts.. ur curry chicken.. ur place to gather during the new yr.. n simply.. i love u.. rest in peace and u'll definitely be missed by all of us.. no matter where u r.. i pray tt u will be happy..